another story...

I need to tell you also about Karla!

Karla is the reason I am in Esteli.  Last year my family hosted two Canada World Youth volunteers - Maureen from Ontario and Karla from Esteli, Nicaragua.  It was an amazing experience for my family, and I think also for Maureen and Karla.

At that time I was beginning to plan for my sabbatical and knew I wanted to travel to Central America and study Spanish.  Karla's family immediately invited me to their home.

Karla's family, like Alberto's, does not have money.  They do, however, have a comfortable home and very generous hearts.  Karla told me yesterday that she was born very very sick.   In order to get the necessary medication for Karla to survive, her parents needed to sell their home.  Life has not been easy for them... however despite the difficulties, Karla worked hard in school.  She made it through high school and, with the help of bursaries and scholarships, was able to attend university.   She has completed 4 years of study and has now completed the requirements to be an accountant.  Her graduation ceremony will be later this spring.

Karla is an amazing young woman.  She is incredibly strong, stubborn, outspoken and independent.  Her dream is to move to Canada... be a successful business woman... to have her own home, car and to one day travel.   Cultural and family expectations are that she will meet a nice man, get married and have babies. 

Karla is very afraid for her future.  She says there is no opportunity for her here.  She has landed her first job as an accountant in another city.  She earns 3,500 cordobas per month.  This is roughly $250.   So far she has managed to save $50.   She needs about another $9,550.00 to come to Canada.   Her fear is that she will never get away... that she will end up doing what is expected of her and be forced to give up her dream.

I've tried to reassure her... to encourage her to hold on to her dream and what is important to her.  I say the words of encouragement but it is hard to feel them in my heart.  What hope does she have?  How will she ever raise the money she needs?

She has asked me to help her contact the Canadian Embassy to find out what she needs to do in order to come to Canada.  Her godmother, who lives in Spain, is willing to help her financially to purchase the airfare.  I've told her I will do what I can but, I'm afraid, what I can do isn't much.   I've been to the immigration website and read the requirements.  Karla doesn't meet any of them.   She needs a job offer in Canada (how is that even possible?), lots of money, or someone to marry her.  She doesn't fit into the "refugee" category.  Her life is not in danger here... only her hope.

I've tried to talk to her about searching for places of hope in Nicaragua... surely there are women here who have managed to break from the expectations but she is unable/unwilling to hear it.   Her heart is set on Canada.

I'd really like to fix it for her... cuz that's what I like to do - fix things.   I hate having to accept the fact that I can not (and really should not) fix other people's lives.  I know that at least part of my desire to make things better is coming from that same sense of guilt and shame I spoke of yesterday.   I have taken my own freedom so much for granted.... freedom to choose where I live, what I do, who I marry.   Even the freedom to travel to Nicaragua for 2 months to learn Spanish.   My life has been and is so easy.   This seems like a funny thing to say given some of the challenges I have faced throughout my life:  childhood bullying, alcoholism, the death of my father, coming out... etc.  Somehow all of these challenges seem trivial in comparison to what I witness here every single day... and not just here but everywhere.   This isn't the first time in my life I've been hit with the reality of my privilege... every time I walk down 20th Street in Saskatoon I feel that ping of guilt.  Somehow, that guilt is easier to ignore than what I am experiencing here.  Interesting!  DANG!!  Here I am, once again, forced to face my assumptions and challenge my attitudes/beliefs.  Did I ask for another opportunity for growth?  Ugh... God seems to know what I need without even having been asked.   Sometimes I really dislike God!   Please don't tell him/her I said that!