One of my daughter's final projects for school this year is to dream up and articulate a "eutopian society". Her questions and our discussions have had me pondering this notion of eutopia. Not an easy concept.
Today I was reading a book by none other than Bishop Desmond Tutu. The chapter I was reading is called "God's Dream". This is my eutopia...
"I have a dream," God says. "Please help me to realize it. It is a dream of a world whose ugliness and squalor and poverty, its war and hostility, its greed and harsh competitiveness, its alienation and disharmony are changed into their glorious counterparts, when there will be more laughter, joy, and peace, where there will be justice and goodness and compassion and love and caring and sharing. I have a dream that swords will be beaten into plowshares and spears into pruning hooks, that my children will know that they are members of one family, the human family, my family."
Bishop Tutu goes on to say:
'In God's family, there are no outsiders. All are insiders. Black and white, rich and poor, gay and straight, Jew and Arab, Palestinian and Israeli, Roman Catholic and Protestant, Serb and Albanian, Hutu and tutsi, Muslim and Christian, Buddhist and Hindu, Pakistani and Indian - all belong.'
And also...
'The wonderful thing about family is that you are not expected to agree about everything under the sun. Show me a man and wife who have never disagreed and I will show you some accomplished fibbers. But those disagreements, pray God, do not usually destroy the unity of the family. And so it should be with God's family. We are not expected at all times to be unanimous or to have a consensus on every conceivable subject. What is needed is to respect one another's points of view and not to impute unworthy motives to one another or to seek to impugn the integrity of the other. Our maturity will be judged by how well we are able to agree to disagree and yet continue to love one another, to care for one another and cherish one another and seek the greater good of the other.
Another characteristic of the family is its willingness to share. The early church went so far as to have its members selling their property, each refusing to claim as his exclusive properyt what had belonged to him before. They had all things in common. When the one part suffered, the whole suffered with it, and when one part prospered, then the whole prospered wtih it. There was a mutuality in the relationship in which all gave and all received. In a happy family you don't receive in proportion to your input. You receive in relation to your needs, the ones who make the least material contribution often being the ones who are most cared for - the young and the aged.'
And finally...
'Members of a family have a gentle and caring compassion for one another. How I pray that we will open our eyes and see the real, true identity of each one of us, that this one is not a white or black, Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Muslim or Jew but a brother, a sister, and treat each other as such. If we could but recognize our common humanity, that we do belong together, that our destinies are bound up in one another's, that we can be free only together, that we can survive only together, that we can be human only together, then a glorious world would come into being where all of us lived harmoniously together as members of one family, the human family, God's family. In truth a transfiguration would take place. God's dream would become a reality.'
I believe in God's dream. I believe it is possible. I believe it is beginning to happen already.
Monday, 21 May 2012
Sunday, 20 May 2012
my last week...
In less than an hour I will be leaving home once again. For a shorter time.. and slightly less distance... but to one of my favorite places in the entire world. I am leaving for a time of retreat, reflection, prayer and silence at the Qu'Appelle House of Prayer in Fort Qu'Appelle. If you have never been, I encourage you to check it out. They have a website with photos and information. I have been a few times now and each time have come away feeling more centered and grounded in the love of God... my source of strength, hope and joy.
It is hard to believe that I am entering into my last week of sabbatical time. What a journey it has been! I feel so so so so so completely grateful to McClure United Church for granting me this unbelievable gift of time. Also for giving me the freedom to let that time just be and unfold. I am grateful particularly to the Ministry and Personnel Committee for encouraging me to not over-structure my time away. This has given me the space I needed to let God's spirit move in curious and unexpected ways. I have learned some of what I intended to learn and a whole lot that I never expected. I am heading into my last week feeling rested, refreshed and spiritually awakened. I am also heading into my last week feeling excited about my return to McClure and my ministry there. I love love love the people of McClure. The other night I ran into Emma... a member of McClure in the 7th grade and her mom. I saw in Emma's face excitement and love when our eyes met. She moved quickly to where I was standing (in Mystic Java) and gave me a wonderful hug. I felt in that moment the intensity of my love for the people of McClure... for the children, youth and the older folks who have been such an inspiration to me for the past 6 years. I am ready and excited to be back among them... living together the love of Christ in the world. I am so incredibly blessed.
I am also incredibly grateful to my beautiful colleagues Ron and Debra. They have carried a heavier load because of my absence and yet I have felt only support and encouragement from them. I look forward to being with them again and continuing to grow our ministry together.
A couple of weeks ago I invited those who are able to join me on Sunday, May 27th at 7:30pm at my house to share in a time of conversation and reflection with me. It's going to be a pretty informal gathering and the purpose is for me to be able to share some of my experiences and learnings and to solicit the questions, challenges, experiences, and stories of others. If you are in the area and able to join me... please do. This invitation is open to anyone who might want to stop by. My address is 602 McKercher Drive. I really hope to see you there... there is already a wonderful group who are planning to come but the more, the merrier.
And, while I will be in silence for the next week... I do hope to post about my experience there. I have discovered that I really enjoy writing. I'm hoping to continue with my blogging after sabbatical. I suppose I'll need to change the name to "Laura post-sabbatical".
Thanks for reading... God bless!
It is hard to believe that I am entering into my last week of sabbatical time. What a journey it has been! I feel so so so so so completely grateful to McClure United Church for granting me this unbelievable gift of time. Also for giving me the freedom to let that time just be and unfold. I am grateful particularly to the Ministry and Personnel Committee for encouraging me to not over-structure my time away. This has given me the space I needed to let God's spirit move in curious and unexpected ways. I have learned some of what I intended to learn and a whole lot that I never expected. I am heading into my last week feeling rested, refreshed and spiritually awakened. I am also heading into my last week feeling excited about my return to McClure and my ministry there. I love love love the people of McClure. The other night I ran into Emma... a member of McClure in the 7th grade and her mom. I saw in Emma's face excitement and love when our eyes met. She moved quickly to where I was standing (in Mystic Java) and gave me a wonderful hug. I felt in that moment the intensity of my love for the people of McClure... for the children, youth and the older folks who have been such an inspiration to me for the past 6 years. I am ready and excited to be back among them... living together the love of Christ in the world. I am so incredibly blessed.
I am also incredibly grateful to my beautiful colleagues Ron and Debra. They have carried a heavier load because of my absence and yet I have felt only support and encouragement from them. I look forward to being with them again and continuing to grow our ministry together.
A couple of weeks ago I invited those who are able to join me on Sunday, May 27th at 7:30pm at my house to share in a time of conversation and reflection with me. It's going to be a pretty informal gathering and the purpose is for me to be able to share some of my experiences and learnings and to solicit the questions, challenges, experiences, and stories of others. If you are in the area and able to join me... please do. This invitation is open to anyone who might want to stop by. My address is 602 McKercher Drive. I really hope to see you there... there is already a wonderful group who are planning to come but the more, the merrier.
And, while I will be in silence for the next week... I do hope to post about my experience there. I have discovered that I really enjoy writing. I'm hoping to continue with my blogging after sabbatical. I suppose I'll need to change the name to "Laura post-sabbatical".
Thanks for reading... God bless!
Sunday, 6 May 2012
I've taken up the challenge...
A while ago I posted the following update on Facebook...
"I'm taking the 21 day challenge to a complaint free world (no complaining, gossiping or unhealthy criticizing). Put on my complaint-free bracelet this morning..."
A few of my friends have asked me how it's going.
It is going better than I expected it to go.
It's going differently than I expected it to go.
The idea of the "complaint free challenge" comes from a book I read. The idea is that whenever someone wearing the "complaint free" bracelet finds themself complaining, criticizing or gossiping, they are to switch their bracelet onto the other wrist. The goal, I believe, is to raise awareness of how much negative energy we are putting into the world. I don't know about you... but I know that for me, when I am habitually complaining, criticizing or gossiping (and it's funny how often those three go hand in hand), I find myself feeling less joyful... less loving... less compassionate.
My journey is a journey towards greater, more intentional love and so this felt like a good step along that path. And it was working.. I did notice myself pausing several times in the day to check in with myself before speaking. The questions I ask myself are simple (and, big shock, inspired from something I read by Desmond Tutu).. "is it true"... "is it kind"... "is it necessary". Often I refrain from saying something I might otherwise have blurted out... this is good.
HOWEVER.. as with most things in my life I found myself taking it to extreme... getting frustrated with myself whenever I needed to switch the bracelet and also frustrated with the number of times I was compelled to complain but had to bite my tongue. The voice of harsh judgment was making its way into my awareness... crushing out the voice of compassion and love (the very reason I was doing this in the first place).
I realized that the very act of changing my bracelet had become a form of self-criticism. I needed to change my bracelet because I changed my bracelet. I could see how this was going to be far too time consuming (and far less helpful) than I had anticipated.
I realized this morning that the challenge I've taken is incomplete. While I continue to think it is a good thing to become aware and challenge the negativity I put into the world, I think it is even more important to notice, become more aware of and give thanks for all of the times I witness and participate in the goodness - in the love, compassion, joy - that is being put into the world every single day... I would even say every moment of every single day.
The bracelet I constructed myself for this challenge has those famous letters "WWJD" on them. I don't think Jesus gossiped, complained or unnecessarily criticized those around him. I do think he displayed radical acts of love, kindness, generosity, selflessness, compassion..
So I'm taking up a new challenge. It will be my "WWJD" challenge. I will continue to notice when I feel compelled to complain, gossip or criticize. But I will also work to become more aware at all of the ways that I witness and participate in goodness. The reality is that I, and most everyone I know, commit far more acts of goodness than we do of ungoodness (it's my blog and this is a word!). I believe that the ungoodness will naturally be pushed to the background of our lives when we are better able to be aware of the amazing power of God's love at work through us.
Go. Be. Love. The world needs you. The world needs all of us.
"I'm taking the 21 day challenge to a complaint free world (no complaining, gossiping or unhealthy criticizing). Put on my complaint-free bracelet this morning..."
A few of my friends have asked me how it's going.
It is going better than I expected it to go.
It's going differently than I expected it to go.
The idea of the "complaint free challenge" comes from a book I read. The idea is that whenever someone wearing the "complaint free" bracelet finds themself complaining, criticizing or gossiping, they are to switch their bracelet onto the other wrist. The goal, I believe, is to raise awareness of how much negative energy we are putting into the world. I don't know about you... but I know that for me, when I am habitually complaining, criticizing or gossiping (and it's funny how often those three go hand in hand), I find myself feeling less joyful... less loving... less compassionate.
My journey is a journey towards greater, more intentional love and so this felt like a good step along that path. And it was working.. I did notice myself pausing several times in the day to check in with myself before speaking. The questions I ask myself are simple (and, big shock, inspired from something I read by Desmond Tutu).. "is it true"... "is it kind"... "is it necessary". Often I refrain from saying something I might otherwise have blurted out... this is good.
HOWEVER.. as with most things in my life I found myself taking it to extreme... getting frustrated with myself whenever I needed to switch the bracelet and also frustrated with the number of times I was compelled to complain but had to bite my tongue. The voice of harsh judgment was making its way into my awareness... crushing out the voice of compassion and love (the very reason I was doing this in the first place).
I realized that the very act of changing my bracelet had become a form of self-criticism. I needed to change my bracelet because I changed my bracelet. I could see how this was going to be far too time consuming (and far less helpful) than I had anticipated.
I realized this morning that the challenge I've taken is incomplete. While I continue to think it is a good thing to become aware and challenge the negativity I put into the world, I think it is even more important to notice, become more aware of and give thanks for all of the times I witness and participate in the goodness - in the love, compassion, joy - that is being put into the world every single day... I would even say every moment of every single day.
The bracelet I constructed myself for this challenge has those famous letters "WWJD" on them. I don't think Jesus gossiped, complained or unnecessarily criticized those around him. I do think he displayed radical acts of love, kindness, generosity, selflessness, compassion..
So I'm taking up a new challenge. It will be my "WWJD" challenge. I will continue to notice when I feel compelled to complain, gossip or criticize. But I will also work to become more aware at all of the ways that I witness and participate in goodness. The reality is that I, and most everyone I know, commit far more acts of goodness than we do of ungoodness (it's my blog and this is a word!). I believe that the ungoodness will naturally be pushed to the background of our lives when we are better able to be aware of the amazing power of God's love at work through us.
Go. Be. Love. The world needs you. The world needs all of us.
Tuesday, 1 May 2012
an awakened heart...
Yesterday a friend asked me "how have you been changed by your experience [in Nicaragua]"...
Part of the answer to that question is easy. I talked about my greater awareness of global issues. I have been changed by the concrete experience of witnessing and living amongst people who live in poverty. The reality of great poverty in our wealthy world has become much more tangible to me. It is no longer only a concept... one that I have always had compassion for - albeit a detached kind of compassion.
I have been changed in that I now feel a deep attachment and connection to the friends I made in Nicaragua who I know are living the struggle every single day. Just this morning I received a phone call from my friend, Alberto, who is without work. He has no money... he has no food... his truck has broken down. Alberto called in despair, and not just for himself and his family but also for his community. He says that he doesn't have work because nobody has money... it's not just he who is suffering. He is in the awful position of needing to make a decision to either leave his community and his family in search of opportunity in the United States or to stay and try to make the best of it. I sat and listened... tried to offer words of encouragement and hope... but mostly just feeling utterly and completely helpless. He called to ask me to pray for him and his family.
I do pray... for Alberto and his family, for all of my friends in Esteli and for people around my city and throughout the world who face similar seemingly impossible situations every single day. Although I do believe in the power of prayer, it doesn't feel like enough. Prayer does not fill an empty stomach. Once again I am faced with the question... "what CAN I do?" My experience in Nicaragua changed me in that this question feels more immediate for me now... more urgent. When I ask this question now, there are faces attached... poverty has become personal for me in a way it hasn't really been before. It is impossible for me to ignore the reality of such a huge percentage of our world's population. When I think poverty now I first see the faces of my friends in Esteli... Alberto, Esmilda, Karla, Joakin... but those images are immediately followed by the images of countless other faces, real and imagined. Faces of those I see in my own city, faces of those I've seen on television news reports or in magazines. In my heart, there is a much greater universal connection now than existed before. For this I feel so grateful... and a little overwhelmed.
The other ways I have been changed are a little more difficult for me to understand and, therefore, articulate. For some reason, when I was in Nicaragua, I allowed my heart to be opened wide. Allowed isn't actually the right word... because it wasn't a conscious choice. If I was in a position of making that choice, I probably would have been defensive... possibly even fled. It just kinda happened. One day I woke up and realized I had fallen in love... with my friends, with the community, with the culture... and it felt so AMAZING. And then it hurt. Falling in love meant experiencing their lives, the good and the not-so-good, in a more intense... a more present... way.
Loving friendships have never been very easy for me. It's hard for me to trust. It's hard for me to connect. I have always kept friends at an arms length... partly as a form of self-protection and partly because I have never really thought of myself as very likeable. Somewhere in the back of my mind I have always believed that if people REALLY got to know me they wouldn't like what they see.
Anyway... whatever the reason for the whole opening of the heart thing... I'm deciding that I kind of like it this way. I'm kind of enjoying(?) feeling the love and grief and joy and pain. Along with the awakening of feeling has come an awakening of presence. As my eyes have become more open to the evil that exists in our world, I am also becoming more open to the beauty and goodness. It's true... there are probably things about me that aren't so likeable BUT they are not the whole of me. FIRST there is goodness and love and beauty. Goodness existed before the trials and tribulations of life caused me to create some defenses that look like defensiveness, moodiness, and control-freak type behaviours.
I am good. Created out of goodness, into a world that is good. My journey is to live that goodness to the best of my ability.
And.. of course... reason would have it that if I am good... created out of goodness... so is everyone else.
My journey is not only to live the goodness that is in me, it is also to search for, call to, encourage and love the goodness that is in you... and you... and you...
Part of the answer to that question is easy. I talked about my greater awareness of global issues. I have been changed by the concrete experience of witnessing and living amongst people who live in poverty. The reality of great poverty in our wealthy world has become much more tangible to me. It is no longer only a concept... one that I have always had compassion for - albeit a detached kind of compassion.
I have been changed in that I now feel a deep attachment and connection to the friends I made in Nicaragua who I know are living the struggle every single day. Just this morning I received a phone call from my friend, Alberto, who is without work. He has no money... he has no food... his truck has broken down. Alberto called in despair, and not just for himself and his family but also for his community. He says that he doesn't have work because nobody has money... it's not just he who is suffering. He is in the awful position of needing to make a decision to either leave his community and his family in search of opportunity in the United States or to stay and try to make the best of it. I sat and listened... tried to offer words of encouragement and hope... but mostly just feeling utterly and completely helpless. He called to ask me to pray for him and his family.
I do pray... for Alberto and his family, for all of my friends in Esteli and for people around my city and throughout the world who face similar seemingly impossible situations every single day. Although I do believe in the power of prayer, it doesn't feel like enough. Prayer does not fill an empty stomach. Once again I am faced with the question... "what CAN I do?" My experience in Nicaragua changed me in that this question feels more immediate for me now... more urgent. When I ask this question now, there are faces attached... poverty has become personal for me in a way it hasn't really been before. It is impossible for me to ignore the reality of such a huge percentage of our world's population. When I think poverty now I first see the faces of my friends in Esteli... Alberto, Esmilda, Karla, Joakin... but those images are immediately followed by the images of countless other faces, real and imagined. Faces of those I see in my own city, faces of those I've seen on television news reports or in magazines. In my heart, there is a much greater universal connection now than existed before. For this I feel so grateful... and a little overwhelmed.
The other ways I have been changed are a little more difficult for me to understand and, therefore, articulate. For some reason, when I was in Nicaragua, I allowed my heart to be opened wide. Allowed isn't actually the right word... because it wasn't a conscious choice. If I was in a position of making that choice, I probably would have been defensive... possibly even fled. It just kinda happened. One day I woke up and realized I had fallen in love... with my friends, with the community, with the culture... and it felt so AMAZING. And then it hurt. Falling in love meant experiencing their lives, the good and the not-so-good, in a more intense... a more present... way.
Loving friendships have never been very easy for me. It's hard for me to trust. It's hard for me to connect. I have always kept friends at an arms length... partly as a form of self-protection and partly because I have never really thought of myself as very likeable. Somewhere in the back of my mind I have always believed that if people REALLY got to know me they wouldn't like what they see.
Anyway... whatever the reason for the whole opening of the heart thing... I'm deciding that I kind of like it this way. I'm kind of enjoying(?) feeling the love and grief and joy and pain. Along with the awakening of feeling has come an awakening of presence. As my eyes have become more open to the evil that exists in our world, I am also becoming more open to the beauty and goodness. It's true... there are probably things about me that aren't so likeable BUT they are not the whole of me. FIRST there is goodness and love and beauty. Goodness existed before the trials and tribulations of life caused me to create some defenses that look like defensiveness, moodiness, and control-freak type behaviours.
I am good. Created out of goodness, into a world that is good. My journey is to live that goodness to the best of my ability.
And.. of course... reason would have it that if I am good... created out of goodness... so is everyone else.
My journey is not only to live the goodness that is in me, it is also to search for, call to, encourage and love the goodness that is in you... and you... and you...
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